“Even if projects and new ventures do not work out, even if you undergo more disappointment or more suffering, at least you had the fulfilling experience of putting yourself into your life 100 percent.And you learned that no matter what kind of pain was thrown your way, you were able to endure it. Rather than running from pain, rather than spending your time asking why pain had to happen or figuring out who to blame for your pain, rather than fearing pain, you gritted your teeth and let the pain hurt--and you eventually outlasted it.Instead of adversity being the obstacle on the road to your happiness and fulfillment, instead of it causing you to detour away from your hopes, dreams, and most righteous aspirations, it was actually the thing that headed you right toward them.”

“Even if all the changes don't work the way you hope, you are doing wonders for yourself just by actively engaging in change. Every time you confront the stagnant areas in your life that you previously have avoided, you will find that your fears are lessening and your confidence is growing. And with the increased confidence, you will want to change even more--to get out of your old patterns and start daring to do the things that have caused you the most emotional terror in the past. You will find yourself filled with an energy you haven't had before to pursue your own goals.”

“Once you make the decision to keep fighting for change, the range of possibilities for discovering who you are can be are endless. By experimenting with new ways of doing things, you will eventually discover your full potential. By enduring your anxiety and consistently risking your best effort, you will achieve more than you ever believed possible. No, you won't be able to change everything. But you will have realized that you have spent far too long holding back your own potential.”

“Try this exercise:Make a list of whatever is going wrong in your life, from the biggest events to the most trivial items, and then beside that list write down everything and everyone you want to blame for that particular problem. For instance, let's say you think you're too fat. If you want to blame it on McDonald's cheeseburgers, then write that down. Perhaps you just don't normally feel well. If you want to blame that feeling on a bad doctor or on the pollen in the air, then write that down. Maybe you can't find a suitable partner. If you want to blame that on the argument that "men are creeps," then write that down.Now look at your list. Ask yourself if you are any different now that you know exactly what or who to blame, and then ask yourself if that has helped you come up with a more constructive program to solve your problems.Not a very positive picture, is it? Wouldn't it be better simply to decide to eliminate all blame from your life and focus instead on what you can do to rid yourself of the unhappiness that afflicts you? Wouldn't it be better to evaluate all the stones that you are carrying in your own bag of life--your stones of resentment, anger, and spite?Blaming will not change you. It only gives you some shallow justification for continuing to look outside yourself, rather than turning inward and rebuilding your life.”

“You have the power to think whatever you choose to allow into your head. If something just "pops" into your head, you have the power to make it go away. You have the power to decide that a particular emotion is a "choice" rather than a condition of life. And you have the power, similarly, to choose beliefs that empower you, that bring out your best.”

“In fact, when you're trying to change, it is sometimes preferable not to rely so much on your experience. In today's world of change, that experience is almost a negative. Why? Because experience can tie you to the past. Experience ties you to old ways of doing things and old ways of thinking that for today may no longer be nearly as effective. For more effective change, you need flexibility--a willingness to listen more to others than to yourself and to try new things rather than repeat what you've always done.”

“To grab a hold of the good life, then you must be prepared for the struggles that lay ahead--for turmoil and the problems, for the pain that might cut through your heart and soul and perhaps even your body like a knife.”