“Is that you? When you fail, are you too humiliated or ashamed to ask for help? When you suffer, are you too embarrassed to ask for more support and comfort?”

“Try this exercise:Make a list of whatever is going wrong in your life, from the biggest events to the most trivial items, and then beside that list write down everything and everyone you want to blame for that particular problem. For instance, let's say you think you're too fat. If you want to blame it on McDonald's cheeseburgers, then write that down. Perhaps you just don't normally feel well. If you want to blame that feeling on a bad doctor or on the pollen in the air, then write that down. Maybe you can't find a suitable partner. If you want to blame that on the argument that "men are creeps," then write that down.Now look at your list. Ask yourself if you are any different now that you know exactly what or who to blame, and then ask yourself if that has helped you come up with a more constructive program to solve your problems.Not a very positive picture, is it? Wouldn't it be better simply to decide to eliminate all blame from your life and focus instead on what you can do to rid yourself of the unhappiness that afflicts you? Wouldn't it be better to evaluate all the stones that you are carrying in your own bag of life--your stones of resentment, anger, and spite?Blaming will not change you. It only gives you some shallow justification for continuing to look outside yourself, rather than turning inward and rebuilding your life.”

“Even if projects and new ventures do not work out, even if you undergo more disappointment or more suffering, at least you had the fulfilling experience of putting yourself into your life 100 percent.And you learned that no matter what kind of pain was thrown your way, you were able to endure it. Rather than running from pain, rather than spending your time asking why pain had to happen or figuring out who to blame for your pain, rather than fearing pain, you gritted your teeth and let the pain hurt--and you eventually outlasted it.Instead of adversity being the obstacle on the road to your happiness and fulfillment, instead of it causing you to detour away from your hopes, dreams, and most righteous aspirations, it was actually the thing that headed you right toward them.”

“What is the point of praying to God if you are in this condition?" I have been asked. "Why pray to God at all?"It's a question I put to you. What is the importance of prayer during your own time of crisis or challenge? I want you to know that this is not a chapter designed to convert you to a particular religious practice. I am not here to try to get you to follow the same religious faith that I do. But I am convinced that God works in all of our lives, that He is there to help us lift our lives above the level of mere existence, and that He is always summoning us to be more than we started out to be.”

“Once you make the decision to keep fighting for change, the range of possibilities for discovering who you are can be are endless. By experimenting with new ways of doing things, you will eventually discover your full potential. By enduring your anxiety and consistently risking your best effort, you will achieve more than you ever believed possible. No, you won't be able to change everything. But you will have realized that you have spent far too long holding back your own potential.”

“Excessive happiness! I never knew there was such a disorder. I didn't know you could be too happy.”

“As much as God loves his children, it is misplaced faith that asks him to prevent all pain in this life, especially the pain we created for ourselves. When we ask God to remove the natural consequences of our own behavior, we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration. As a wise friend once said, "It is foolish to think you can sow your wild oats on Saturday and pray for crop failure on Sunday.”