“Our constant barrage of why's sounds a lot like whining to me. If you are a "why-ner," you're not looking for solutions. You are not interested in answers. You only want sympathy. But if you stop "why-ning," you can develop a belief system that says there are unfair things that happen in life that are an integral part of existence, and that when they happen you'll deal with them the best you can. Only then are you in the position to start making changes in your life.”

“It seems so impossible to believe that your best time in life exists at no other time and in no other place than the present. But this is another vital part of your strategy that you must have in order to rebuild a better life: You must let go of what's happened, forget about what could happen, and take charge of your present. There is only one moment in which you can experience anything, and that moment is "now," so don't throw away your time by dwelling on past or future experiences, by living in moments other than the current ones.”

“What shall it be? The easy path? Or the road less traveled? Ask yourself: Can you afford to maintain your unmoving place in life? Are you willing to stay in the status quo, or do you want to do something so that one day you will not look back on a life strewn with regrets?As we struggle under the weight of our circumstances when the vision of our hopes and dreams grows dim, we must never forget what Robert Frost wrote about the positive impact that taking a less-traveled direction can make on a person's life...”

“Try this exercise:Make a list of whatever is going wrong in your life, from the biggest events to the most trivial items, and then beside that list write down everything and everyone you want to blame for that particular problem. For instance, let's say you think you're too fat. If you want to blame it on McDonald's cheeseburgers, then write that down. Perhaps you just don't normally feel well. If you want to blame that feeling on a bad doctor or on the pollen in the air, then write that down. Maybe you can't find a suitable partner. If you want to blame that on the argument that "men are creeps," then write that down.Now look at your list. Ask yourself if you are any different now that you know exactly what or who to blame, and then ask yourself if that has helped you come up with a more constructive program to solve your problems.Not a very positive picture, is it? Wouldn't it be better simply to decide to eliminate all blame from your life and focus instead on what you can do to rid yourself of the unhappiness that afflicts you? Wouldn't it be better to evaluate all the stones that you are carrying in your own bag of life--your stones of resentment, anger, and spite?Blaming will not change you. It only gives you some shallow justification for continuing to look outside yourself, rather than turning inward and rebuilding your life.”

“Your vision for yourself is what you know you need to make your life significant. Goals don't do that. Goals can make you feel as if you have "achieved" something. But they cannot make you happier. Goals are you way of knowing that you've reached certain landmarks over a certain period of time. But they cannot make you feel more worthy. You can say, for instance, "I made my goal of selling a million dollars in product this year." But you can't say, "That million dollars has me me the person I want to be.”

“In fact, when you're trying to change, it is sometimes preferable not to rely so much on your experience. In today's world of change, that experience is almost a negative. Why? Because experience can tie you to the past. Experience ties you to old ways of doing things and old ways of thinking that for today may no longer be nearly as effective. For more effective change, you need flexibility--a willingness to listen more to others than to yourself and to try new things rather than repeat what you've always done.”

“The longer you continue the journey, the more exciting it becomes, because of the chance you have to learn about who you really are and what you can do. Not only do you get to live and learn, you get to learn and live. As the journey continues, you will find increased personal freedom because you will know how to beat back more of your fears.You will find a greater sense of peace because you will no longer be as paralyzed by life's darker moments. And you will be able to relish whatever it is you are experiencing right now because you will no longer be worrying so deeply about what will happen tomorrow.Think of your life as a good book. The further you get into it, the more it begins to come together and make sense. There is meaning in the incidents that you experience. With each new chapter, each new twist of the plot, your character becomes more fully developed. And in the end, there is a satisfying sense of completeness to the character and the story.”