“You know, people always look at that headline as me being "outed," but you can ask anyone, I couldn't even find a closet with a map!”

“I know,” he said, very softly. “Let’s go home. Let’s go home, and you can tell me whatever you want, and I’ll believe you.”

“Okay, so, you know that photo shoot Parker did a while back?” “The one where he wore the earth’s luckiest pair of jeans?” “Are you lusting after the object of my affections? Because that’s going to make this conversation even more incredibly uncomfortable.”

“Someone could have told me," he finally said, feeling and sounding both miserable and pathetic. "Oh, honey, I knew you were dumb, but this was beyond my expectations.”

“On the left is Jimmy, our drummer. You can just see him under all the hair. Jimmy‟s a great guy. Dumber than a sack of hammers, but damn, he can count.”

“Pantycount for the evening is: 10 thongs, 2 boy shorts, 3 bikini briefs, 1 pair boxer shorts (represent!). There’s also something we can’t identify which may or may not be some type of bondage gear. You guys are awesome.”

“Jake, if you could stand the idea of getting inked, you'd have a pink triangle tattooed across your chest.”