“After Olestra (may cause anal leakage), people are a tad suspicious about products that do things that are too good to be true in the natural world.I tell this to the account people, and they say, "But it comes from trees!"To which I reply, "Yes and so does napalm and rubber cement. But that doesn't mean I'm going to spread them on my English muffin.”

“Two things you should know about me; The first is that I am deeply suspicious of people in general. It is my nature to expect the worst of them. And the second is that I am unexpectedly good with computers.”

“There are indeed many wonders, and with regard to the stories people tell one another, it may be that such tales go beyond the true account and, embellished with iridescent lies, beguile them.”

“I think about how people use the devil as an alias for the things they fear. The cause and effect is backward. The devil doesn't make anyone do anything. People just do things and blame the devil after.”

“His story and the detailed nature of his belief system make me suspect that he is suffering from paranoid ideas. I love that: I'm suspicious that Mr. Hill is suspicious. It makes me think of those now yellowing crime-fighting signs from ten or fifteen years earlier that say: Report suspicious people.Suspicious people report suspicious people. Suspicious people report suspicious people report suspicious people.Add paranoia, stir and repeat, stir and repeat, stir and repeat.”

“I'm skipping, but Cam doesn't have a class until this afternoon, so he's a good boy.""And your a bad boy?""Oh, I'm a bad, bad boy.""Yeah, as in bad at spelling, math, english, cleaning up after yourself, talking to people, and I could go on.”