“Give me down. And give me the Polaroids of the fifty geese that had to die in the process.”

“As I sat in the hot, salty water, I thought, 'No wonder Mr. Bubble always gives me a urinary tract infection and hives.' Mr. Bubble was for common people. Mr. Bubble was for my so-called brother, their true child. I was a Vanderbilt. I should bathe in condiments and seasonings.”

“George had been surprised by my ability to leave him. He had not seen that in me.”

“Should I just sit down, right here at carousel seven, and shake until somebody's arms are around me and they're saying, 'It's okay, I'm here, I'm here, come with me to the institute.”

“Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping.”

“To be more confident you need to give a whole lot less of a shit about that other people think of you.”

“Give that mint Milano back, you bitch. If you can't at least be polite, you don't get a treat.”