“He was raised without a proper diagnosis.”

“Long marriages have ended in ruin over tiny and insignificant grievances that were never properly aired and instead grew into a brittle barnacle of hatred.”

“My brother was born without taste or the desire to be professionally lit.”

“Truthfulness itself is almost medication, even when it’s served without advice or insight.”

“But then, look at me. My brain is incorrectly formed, and I'm shaped like a tube. Plus, I'm an alcoholic, a "survivor" of childhood sexual abuse, was raised in a cult and have no education. So, really, if you think about it, the only thing that separates me from the guy with the stinky foot and no teeth is a book deal and some cologne.”

“Gone were the days when she would stand on the deck lighting lemon-scented candles without then having to eat the wax”

“He looked and sounded exactly like a real psychiatrist. Until he opened his mouth. "Let's ask God," he said.”