“I wish I had a tray table in my bedroom and I wish I smoked, just so I could extinguish my smoking materials”

“I feel that my tendency to acquire books is rather like someone smoking two packs a day: it's a terrible vice that I wish I could shuck. I love my books, and with all their dog-ears and underlinings they are irreplaceable; but I sometimes wish they'd just vanish. ~ Claire Messud, author of The Emperor's Child.”

“You know, this is the first time in many years that I really wished I hadn’t given up smoking. It would give me something to do with my hands, so that I wouldn’t use them to strangle you.”

“I can sleep like a champion. I once slept through a smoke alarm going off. For three hours. In my bedroom.”

“I needed my daughter to disappear from my sight. If I could have had a wish, I would have wished her away.”

“Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip. I prayed for wind shear effect. I prayed for pelicans sucked into the turbines and loose bolts and ice on the wings. On takeoff, as the plane pushed down the runway and the flaps tilted up, with our seats in their full upright position and our tray tables stowed and all personal carry-on baggage in the overhead compartment, as the end of the runway ran up to meet us with our smoking materials extinguished, I prayed for a crash.”