“Will I end up in Hell along with the Hamburger Helping Hand, Joe Camel and Wendy, the Snapple Lady?”

“Camel trips, as I suspected all along, and as I was about to have confirmed, do not being or end: they mere change form.”

“You'd think that would have been forgotten long ago. But no, no sooner has a little grass grown over it than some clumsy camel comes along and rakes it all up again."Caroline giggled. She was probably imagining Aunt Glenda as a camel."This is not a TV series, Maddy," said Lady Arista sharply."Thank goodness, no, it isn't," said Great-aunt Maddy. "If it were, I'd have lost track of the plot ages ago.”

“A day can start out ordinary and end up being in the top ten. —Joe Bunch”

“Is there a right end of a camel for your head to be in?”

“I pray. I go to mass. I even remember to respect my elders and help little old ladies across the street. What the hell did I do to deserve this?”