“Life is unpredictable and it doesn't follow a map.”

“Sometimes things don't work out like we plan. Like, maybe life has other things in mind.”

“I'm being fair, it was the best kiss of my life- a kiss that finds all your seams and pulls them apart, stitch by detail stitch.”

“My pulse is buzzing and my stomach is a riot of butterflies and half-digested peanut butter cookies.”

“I'm miserable but the thing is that I want to be miserable. It's kind of nice. Like a comfortable sweater that you put on around teh house but wouldn't be caught dead wearing in public.”

“I have serious issues with families in coordinated clothing. Just sayin”

“You dump trash. You dump yard waste and old ripped couches that smell like body odor and forgetfulness. You dump cigarette butts and banana peels and hazardous waste. But people?”