“In one scene, when I was supposed to say, "In a pig's eye you are," what came out was, "In a pig's ass you are." Old habits die awfully hard.”

“The Pig Chef was - if you thought about it - one of the more sinister icons of American roadside art. Danny's personal totem. What kind of pig is a butcher? What kind of pig cooks barbeque? A traitor pig, a killer pig, a doomed preterite pig destined for eternal damnation. Danny's Pig Chefs showed the full weight of this knowledge in their mocking eyes and snaggled snouts.”

“Oh, sweetie, you are a jackass. I love you, but you are dumber than a one legged duck in an ass kicking contest when pigs fly.”

“One of the things I learned firsthand as a child, growing up in Zacatecas, Mexico was... that when you fight with a pig, you both get dirty,but the pig likes it.”

“When you get in the mud with a pig, you get dirty and the pig gets happy.”

“If I say you're a goatherd's son, you say, 'Yes, Lord Ralon.'"Alanna gasped with fury. "I'd as soon kiss a pig! Is that what you've been doing-kissing pigs? Or being kissed?”