“What is cheaper than lust or of less value than alchemy or aphrodisiacs?”

“If you send someone a snarky Tweet, does that make you an Angry Bird?”

“You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.”

“I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago.""Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then, more quietly,"You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear?”

“There's more than one way for a girl to Google a cat.”

“Hell couldn't be worse than a WalMart after midnight, right?”

“Things should be judged by distance traveled rather than by current position.”