“figures don't lie, liars figure”
“Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. ”
“There's nothing so unreliable as figures, and everybody but a mathematician knows that. Figures lie right to your face.”
“Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either. ”
“A slick way to outfigure a person is to get him figuring you figure he's figuring you're figuring he'll figure you aren't really figuring what you want him to figure you figure.”
“Don't nobody like a man they can't figure.”