“Well, I haven't really anything to eat at home, I began, but then stopped, as I realised that a dreary revelation of the state of one's larder was hardly the way to respond to an invitation to dinner.”

“I invited my girlfriend over and made her dinner. I didn’t cook, but I did eat her.”

“You’re joining us for dinner, I hope?” asked his mom. She was small and brunette and vaguely mousy.“I guess?” I said. “I have to be home by ten. Also I don’t, um, eat meat?”“No problem. We’ll vegetarianize some,” she said.“Animals are just too cute?” Gus asked.“I want to minimize the number of deaths I am responsible for,” I said.Gus opened his mouth to respond but then stopped himself.”

“Sometimes when I'm faced with an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner that one could ever serve, and when we have finished eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there's a cook.”

“But if she could be here, she probably wouldn’t be here. But that won’t stop me from ordering for two, and if I can’t eat it all I’ll take the leftovers home so I can heat up my loneliness and enjoy it for dinner tomorrow night.”

“I think women sign on for some ideal when they get married, and when they realise they haven't got anything close to what they want, they bury their disappointment.”