“The timer dinged a few minutes later and Cinnamon sucked in her breath."You want me to check?" I asked."I'll do it."I stood up and followed her into the bathroom.Cinnamon gasped and said,"They're both positive!""What?" I grabbed the sticks from her hand and read them. I glared at her.She chuckled. "You should have seen your face.”

“I jumped out of the way and Monique skidded across the floor like a drunk monkey on a skateboard and landed face-first in the puke. I hoped that popping sound was just the button on her halter top and not an imploded implant. That was a mess I wasn't about to clean up.”

“After I slid down the wall for the third time, breaking every single fingernail in the process, I finally figured out that Thor was hollering at me. I turned to see him standing in the bed of the truck. Which, of course, made much more sense, than pretending to be Spiderman.It's a humbling moment when you realize your dog is smarter than you.”

“My fault? How the hell is this"--I waved my arm across the table-- my fault?""You know we don't believe in hell, so stop using that word in our presence," Bridie said."Fine. How in fucked-up fairyland is this my fault?”

“Leo turned to me, his upper lip curved in that way it does when he's confused. "What exactly is your problem? You broke it off with me, remember?"The bitch wasn't backing down. Now she had control of my hands. She wagged a finger at Leo. "And you just couldn't wait to climb aboard that silicone-stuffed herpes ride, could you?”

“Monique, I realize that it's a short list of men in this town you haven't tied up, held down or sent to the free clinic, but why don't you just leave Leo alone. At least until he can update his vaccinations.”

“Chance stifled a grin, and all I could think was that this girl had to be related to me. Only women who were related to me annoyed me this much.”