“When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”

“You know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.”

“Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today”

“Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying, "Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it is your job to make him awesome”

“Dude.. where's your suit? Just once, when I say "suit up" I wish you'd put on a suit.”

“Article 100: "When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection."Corollary: "If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall put his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he's not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull down to get a better look.”

“It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is...dairy!”