“For every Mother Theresa, there are ten Saddam Husseins.”

“You're gonna be a freaking appendage in their lives. They'll have a mother and an appendage.”

“It is right that the influence of the Government should be known in every humble home as the guardian of frugal comfort and content, and a defense against unjust exactions, and the unearned tribute persistently coveted by the selfish and designing. It is right that efficiency and honesty in public service should not be sacrificed to partisan greed; and it is right that the suffrage of our people should be pure and free.”

“Let education kindle only those which are truly beneficialto the human species; let it favour those alone which are really necessary to the maintenance of society. The passions of man are dangerous, only because every thing conspires to give them an evil direction.”

“One of the ways in which cats show happiness is by sleeping.”

“If it takes the entire army and navy to deliver a postal card in Chicago, that card will be delivered.”

“As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.”