“Fable has strong shoulders that carry far more truth than fact can.”

“Error can point the way to truth, while empty-headedness can only lead to more empty-headedness or to a career in politics.”

“Our senses are woefully limited. Our brains are but tiny candles flickering in an infinity of darkness. Our only wisdom is to admit that we cannot understand, and since we cannot understand we must do the best we can with faith. which is our only talent. The greatest act of faith we are capable of is that of loving another more than we love ourselves, and occasionally we can be quite good at it.”

“Immortality is only for the gods," he whispered. "I wonder how they can stand it.”

“O great and mighty Master Li, pray impart to me the Secret of Wisdom!" he bawled."Take a large bowl," I said. "Fill it with equal measures of fact, fantasy, history, mythology, science, superstition, logic, and lunacy. Darken the mixture with bitter tears, brighten it with howls of laughter, toss in three thousand years of civilization, bellow kan pei — which means 'dry cup' — and drink to the dregs."Procopius stared at me. "And I will be wise?" he asked."Better," I said. "You will be Chinese.”

“The problem with 'the crown jewel of Chinese literature' [Dream of the Red Chamber] is that it has two thousand pages and an equal number of characters, and the hero is an effeminate ass who should have either been spanked or decapitated, both ends being equally objectionable.”

“The mind is a miser," he said. "Nothing is ever thrown away, and it's amazing what you can find if you dig deep enough.”