“Ox, what occupation is most closely linked to insanity?''Emperor,' I said promptly.”

“Ox, at an early age a Chinese genius gazes at the path that lies ahead and reaches for a wine jar," Master Li said. "Is it any wonder that our greatest men have lurched rather than walked across the landscape as they hiccuped their way into history?”

“Don't be ashamed of reliving your childhood, Ox, because all of us must do it now and then to maintain our sanity.”

“The supernatural can be very annoying until one finds the key that transforms it into science," he observed mildly... "Come on, Ox, let's go out and get killed.”

“The mind is a miser," he said. "Nothing is ever thrown away, and it's amazing what you can find if you dig deep enough.”

“O great and mighty Master Li, pray impart to me the Secret of Wisdom!" he bawled."Take a large bowl," I said. "Fill it with equal measures of fact, fantasy, history, mythology, science, superstition, logic, and lunacy. Darken the mixture with bitter tears, brighten it with howls of laughter, toss in three thousand years of civilization, bellow kan pei — which means 'dry cup' — and drink to the dregs."Procopius stared at me. "And I will be wise?" he asked."Better," I said. "You will be Chinese.”

“Master Li, how are we going to murder a man who laughs at axes?" I asked.We are going to experiment, dear boy. Our first order of business will be to find a deranged alchemist, which should not be very difficult. China," said Master Li, "is overstocked with deranged alchemists.”