“Aping the lower class will only lead to fatherless children, unusable muscles, and the fear of tomorrow’s sobriety.”

“Treat each other like human beings? But the other great apes have no class hierarchy.”

“Children should have a balanced diet. They should only consume sugar, salt, and fat in equal quantities.”

“Use condoms; it’s wise not to gamble with your children's future.”

“Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.”

“The only way to tell a fable is to introduce a human. The only way to tell a proverb is to introduce your grandfather.”

“The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be overheard. It just isn't good table manners to exclude someone from their own ridicule. That's why the juiciest side conversations occur at a table for one.”