“Don't drink away your dreams; drink towards them.”

“Water is very bad for one’s health. People in third world countries seem to drink nothing but water, and they are always dying.”

“Bragging about your compassion is the first step towards feeling a genuine emotion.”

“Give up your dreams; you'll accomplish more without sleep.”

“When you don't hold your pipe with the proper poise, smoking is very hazardous for your image.”

“Seize something wonderful; don't lose your chance waiting for it to become legal.”

“Don't swallow: your bulging, blushing cheeks display the saliva you want to share.”