“Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.”

“Neighbors are the most indecent sort of folk around. Nothing but voyeurs and gossipers. As a community we would be much better off without them.”

“Sending love letters to first-graders will teach them lessons in cursive. But writing back will test their commitment.”

“I don’t read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me.”

“It is a known fact that pain and pleasure are the two most basic elements of life. But the secret is to simplify that fact.”

“Use condoms; it’s wise not to gamble with your children's future.”

“Aping the lower class will only lead to fatherless children, unusable muscles, and the fear of tomorrow’s sobriety.”