“Frogs. We all want their long tongues and jumping power, but aspiring superheroes rarely consider the benefits of growing up as sperm.”

“I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment.”

“I just wanted the rain to come so I could help grow something. But I became a part of so much more” – a grain of dirt after a mudslide.”

“Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.”

“Quote: a banal proverb that is considered profound when uttered by a celebrity.”

“I shed a tear when I meet somebody who always quits. Reliable people are so rare in this world.”

“I ran into an old friend on the street and we started up a conversation. Four hours and six bottles of wine later, we decided the weather was just too unpredictable, and we parted ways.”