“Hypocrisy is a quality found in others. I am an optimist. I believe that saying the right thing will eventually cause people to do the right thing for me.”

“We need to revitalize the American spirit. People are always asking ‘What would the founding fathers do,’ but I have yet to witness a single séance.”

“I don’t read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me.”

“Don't believe anything I say. My point of view is merely objective.”

“When one's unconscious is full of vice, nothing realizes inner potential like hypocrisy.”

“I don't believe in failure. I'm perseverant - I believe in failing.”

“Usually I am the only subject I care to discuss with company. But when I'm getting reacquainted with an old friend, I really enjoy just sitting back and listening to them talk about me for a while.”