“I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy.”

“I compensate for my debauchery by being brilliant at it. I make sacrifices for it by waking up in a gutter covered in the fruits of my genius.”

“I dropped out of school and congratulated myself for my diligence. Few realize how hard one has to work to resist the pressures of conventional success.”

“I love the smell of a new book, but I prefer inhaling fresh bottles of ink and glue. They get me more lightheaded – unless I read the book.”

“I study men like I study books: I skim their midsections.”

“Some people won't have kids, but I’m not going to have parents. I’m burning their birth certificates and defacing their gravestones tonight.”

“I lacked the knowledge of linear perspective needed to get into the art school, so now I whitewash walls and imagine I’m heaven’s landscape painter.”