“I study men like I study books: I skim their midsections.”

“I love the smell of a new book, but I prefer inhaling fresh bottles of ink and glue. They get me more lightheaded – unless I read the book.”

“I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy.”

“When someone gives me either a democratic or republican pamphlet, I throw it in their face. I’m a librarian, damn it! We only take book donations.”

“Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.”

“I don't believe in failure. I'm perseverant - I believe in failing.”

“I may be slow, but I know a racist when I’m called one - and I am proud to support the supremacy of the 100-meter leisurely stroll.”