“Liver failure is the easiest way to say 'no' to alcohol.”
“Alcohol is the motorcycle of beverages. Liver fast, die young.”
“I require something so horrifically alcoholic that it makes livers tremble with fear and run for their lives when its name is uttered.”
“It's hard to kill yourself by taking Tylenol. You die from liver failure, which takes a long time...”
“Because 'You're perfect just the way you are,' is what your guidance counselor says. And she's an alcoholic.”
“The easiest way to do anything is properly.”