“Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.”

“Treat each other like human beings? But the other great apes have no class hierarchy.”

“I study men like I study books: I skim their midsections.”

“If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.”

“When one's unconscious is full of vice, nothing realizes inner potential like hypocrisy.”

“I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.”

“Like a valet who commits grand theft auto not to go for a joy ride but to open a used car lot, so do we seize upon love not to revel in its ecstasies but to haggle over its blue-book value.”