“Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.”

“Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?”

“We need to revitalize the American spirit. People are always asking ‘What would the founding fathers do,’ but I have yet to witness a single séance.”

“Teacher: a master who, through personal example, inspires students to rebel against learning.”

“I happen to find ceilings much lovelier than the night sky myself. Sometimes I just stare at them for hours and wonder what could be up there.”

“Where does love reveal itself? In beds, sofas, bathtubs – each section of a department store has its advantages.”

“We live in one of the few epochs of humanity where life isn't just a painful cycle of toil, fatigue, and collapse. Now pleasure gyrates us through those stages.”