“Rioter: a person who wants dinner, and needs a TV to eat it with.”

“If you want to change the world, just change yourself. The world needs traitors.”

“Teacher: a master who, through personal example, inspires students to rebel against learning.”

“I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.”

“Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.”

“The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be overheard. It just isn't good table manners to exclude someone from their own ridicule. That's why the juiciest side conversations occur at a table for one.”

“It is remarkably precocious when a person accomplishes anything after the age of thirty.”