“Sympathy is why when a man is getting mugged, you let him keep his shirt after you take his life. Funerals are respectable affairs, after all.”

“Performance enhancements are most impressive when used by that sedentary athlete, the videogamer. After he turns to hitchhiking in disgrace, his giant thumbs can take him anywhere.”

“It is remarkably precocious when a person accomplishes anything after the age of thirty.”

“When a person encounters his own statue and takes a hammer to it, performance art adds depth to greatness.”

“After all else, there’s more yet: I don’t know what, though.”

“A man without debts is a man without anything to live for. Debt is collateral for life. It provides you with obligations to others, gives you duty, gives you purpose: the purpose to protect those possessions which you would not otherwise have without your debt. Debt is the most responsible way to elevate your social position.”

“I just wanted the rain to come so I could help grow something. But I became a part of so much more” – a grain of dirt after a mudslide.”