“The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat.”

“Cannibal: epicures who abstain from alcohol and tobacco. As moral guides, they are underutilized in the police forces of modern societies.  ”

“Don't drink away your dreams; drink towards them.”

“When it’s not enough to veto your children’s tendencies, you must in vitro them.”

“Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.”

“We need to save the forests. I have a big warehouse we can store them in.”

“Sending love letters to first-graders will teach them lessons in cursive. But writing back will test their commitment.”