“We live in one of the few epochs of humanity where life isn't just a painful cycle of toil, fatigue, and collapse. Now pleasure gyrates us through those stages.”

“I have never sought to displease; I merely seek pleasure and avoid the pain it causes those who work to produce it. That is what it means to live by the leisure principle.”

“It is a known fact that pain and pleasure are the two most basic elements of life. But the secret is to simplify that fact.”

“The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be overheard. It just isn't good table manners to exclude someone from their own ridicule. That's why the juiciest side conversations occur at a table for one.”

“I dropped out of school and congratulated myself for my diligence. Few realize how hard one has to work to resist the pressures of conventional success.”

“A man without debts is a man without anything to live for. Debt is collateral for life. It provides you with obligations to others, gives you duty, gives you purpose: the purpose to protect those possessions which you would not otherwise have without your debt. Debt is the most responsible way to elevate your social position.”

“Have a baby shower, then an abortion. Now you just have to lose a little weight to squeeze into all your skimpy new outfits.”