“When it’s not enough to veto your children’s tendencies, you must in vitro them.”

“Use condoms; it’s wise not to gamble with your children's future.”

“When you don't hold your pipe with the proper poise, smoking is very hazardous for your image.”

“It’s best to only exercise when the air conditioning is working properly outside. A strong wind ensures one doesn’t sweat very much.”

“Dentistry is a precondition to love at first sight. When your eyes meet she beams with happiness, but when you smile back she shows her true reflexes.”

“Don't drink away your dreams; drink towards them.”

“Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.”