“I pretend I’ve got lots of confidence and I’m a big jock and like that but deep inside I’m a frightened, insecure, can’t-make-it failure.”

“When I’m with him, everything makes so much sense…when I’m away, it’s so much shit.”

“I’m really cracking. No, I’m beyond cracking. I’m shattered. I’m lost. I’m fragmented.”

“Like usual, what I want is not important, what I’m supposed to do that counts.”

“…I’d have died without them [books]. Even now I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.”

“Got my shit together” Definition: I’ve learned how to play it cool. I’ve got some ideas worked out.”

“They don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.”