“Boys like girls who look like...girls.”

“Where was the respect? The boys all looked like girls and the girls all looked like whores. Clearly, the country was already halfway in the shit.”

“Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short and wear shirts and boots because it's okay to be a boy; for girls it's like promotion. But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, according to you, because secretly you believe that being a girl is degrading.”

“It is a curious fact that small boys are more terrified of their babysitters than small girls are. In part, this is because small girls and babysitters, who are usually slightly larger girls, belong to the same species, and therefore understand each other. Small boys, on the other hand, do not understand girls, and therefore being looked after by one is a little like a hamster being looked after by a shark. If you are a small boy, it may be some consolation to you to know that even large boys do not understand girls, and girls, by and large, do not understand boys. This makes adult life very interesting.”

“Why do boys kiss girls? Because they like them. Do girls kiss boys because they like them too? …Usually…”

“The venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t wanna date is a circle.”