“Patch wasn't the kind of guy mothers smiled on. He was the kind of guy they changed the house locks for.”

“Shh!” the guy beside me hissed again.“Blame him,” I told the guy, pointing at Patch. The guy craned his neck back. “Listen,” he said, facing me again. “If you don’t quiet down, I’ll get security.”“Fine, go get security. Tell them to take him away,” I said, again signaling Patch. “Tell them he wants to kill me.”“I want to kill you,” hissed the guy’s girlfriend,”

“The guy I've got my eye on happens to be hot. Off-the-charts hot. Hotter-than-Patch hot." She paused. "Well maybe not that hot. Nobody's that hot.”

“This is crazy," I told Patch in an undertone."I'm crazy." He was on the brink of smiling again. "About you.”

“You sound worked up. Really worked up. No, that's not it. You sound agitated...flustered...aroused." I could feel her eyes widen. "He kissed you, didn't he?"No answer."He did! I knew it! I've seen the way he looks at you. I knew this was coming. I saw it from a mile away."I didn't want to think about it."What was it like?" Vee pressed. "A peach kiss? A plum kiss? Or an al-fal-fa kiss?""What?""Was it a peck, did mouths part, or was there tongue? Never mind. You don't have to answer that. Patch isn't the kind of guy to deal with preliminaries. There was tongue involved. Guaranteed.”

“Who wants to kill you?” the guy asked. He was still looking over his shoulder, but his expression was puzzled.“There’s nobody there,” the girlfriend told me.“You’re making them think they can’t see you, aren’t you?” I said to Patch, awed by his power even as I despised his use of it.”

“I’m going to grab a cheeseburger,” I told Patch. “Want anything?”“Nothing on the menu.”I smiled. “Why, Patch, are you flirting with me?”