“Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat.”

“So?” I asked Vee. “What’s the verdict?”“The verdict? My doctor is a lard-arse. Closely resembles an Oompa-Loompa. Don’t give me your severe look. Last time he came in, he broke into the Funky Chicken. And he’s forever eating chocolate. Mostly chocolate animals. You know the solid chocolate bunnies they’re selling for Easter? That’s what the Oompa-Loompa ate for dinner. Had a chocolate duck at lunch with a side of yellow Peeps.”

“You’ve got food stuck in your teeth,” Vee toldMarcie. “In the crack between your two front teeth.Looks like chocolate Ex-Lax …”

“It would be like a cleansing diet. The problem was, the only diet I'd ever been on backfired. Once I tried to go an entire month without chocolate. Not one bite. At the end of two weeks, I broke down and binged on more chocolate that I would have eaten in three months. I hoped my chocolate-free diet didn't foreshadow what would happen if I tried to avoid Patch.”

“I called Vee."How are you doing?" I asked."Good. How are you?""Good."Silence."Okay," Vee said in a rush, "I am still totally freaked out. You?""Totally.”

“You want a blood relative to lead your army? Get Marcie. She likes ordering people around. She'll be a natural.”

“...I need a boyfriend. And to get a boyfriend, you have to look good. Doesn’t hurt to smell good too.”