“What’s wrong with you?’ growled the wolf. Can’t you see that I’m a big and dangerous wolf? I’m sure you are, replied the pig. But couldn’t you be big and dangerous somewhere else? We’re trying to read.”

“I…can’t go to dinner with you on Wednesday.”“It’s almost four in the morning, Abby. What’s going on?”“I can’t see you at all, actually.”“Abs....”“I’m…pretty sure I’m in love with Travis,” I said, bracing for his reaction.”

“Do you know how crazy that made me? I’m trying to concentrate on my fucking fucking ball baseball game and all I can think about is why the hell the girl I’m in love with is ignoring me. I knewsomething was wrong when you never called. I tried to shake it off, but I couldn’t. You can’t do that tome. Don’t you understand? You can’t fucking do that to me when I’m trying to play ball!”

“Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?”

“You see these guinea pigs? Well... they'er not dangerous.”

“You see, this is one big defect of many people... They see nothing good in people they don't like. And this is dangerous.”