“I tend to have a lot of guy friends.”

“While I do not have a boyfriend, I do have a friend who is homosexual and I once asked him "Do you ever think about having sex with me because you are gay?" to which he replied "Do you ever think about having sex with Rosie O'Donnell because you are straight? Same thing.”

“She reads a lot of books. Good things, books.”

“I nearly laughed at the sight of his nostrils flaring up. I used to think that "flaring nostrils" was something that writers worked into their stories for melodramatic effect until that moment. Man, it was fabulous watching that guy's nose open up as though he were about to vacuum a giant anthill. ~ Eric”

“Children expect their mothers to love them, no matter what. Those who don't get this tend to feel cheated the rest of their lives.”

“I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism.”

“Choose friends who are positive and loving.”