“When I was a kid I used to drink from the tap all the time. I'd run back into the flat all hot and sweaty from playing and didn't even bother putting it in a glass, just turned the tap on and stuck my mouth underneath it. If my mom caught me doing it she used to scold me, but my dad just said that I had to be careful. 'What if a fish jumped out?' he used to say. 'You'd swallow it before you knew it was there.' Dad was always saying stuff like that and it wasn't until I was seventeen that I realised it was because he was stoned all the time.”

“My dad was a fairy," said Zach. "And by that I don't mean he dressed well and enjoyed musical theatre.”

“Right from the start Abigail used to moan and fidget as her hair was relaxed or braided or thermally reconditioned, but her dad was determined that his child wasn’t going to embarrass him in public. That all stopped when Abigail turned eleven and calmly announced that she had ChildLine on speed‑dial and the next person who came near her with a hair extension, chemical straightener, or, God forbid, a hot comb, was going to end up explaining their actions to Social Services.”

“My Dad says that being a Londoner has nothing to do with where you're born. He says that there are people who get off a jumbo jet at Heathrow, go through immigration waving any kind of passport, hop on the tube and by the time the train's pulled into Piccadilly Circus they've become a Londoner.”

“You put a spell on the dog," I said as we left the house."Just a small one," said Nightingale."So magic is real," I said. "Which makes you a...what?""A wizard.""Like Harry Potter?"Nightingale sighed. "No," he said. "Not like Harry Potter.""In what way?""I'm not a fictional character," said Nightingale.”

“For a terrifying moment I thought he was going to hug me, but fortunately we both remembered we were English just in time. Still, it was a close call.”

“Urban Outfitters, eh," said Beverley. "That explains the Dr Denim shirt.""My mum bought me that," I said."And you think that's less embarrassing?”