“When you're a boy your life can be measured out as a series of uncomfortable conversations reluctantly initiated by adults in an effort to tell you things that you either already know or really don't want to know.”

“What's the biggest thing you've zapped with a fireball?' I asked.'That would be a tiger,'said Nightingale.'Well don't tell Greenpeace,' I said. 'They're an endagered species.''Not that sort of tiger,' said Nightingale. 'A Panzer-kampfwagen sechs Ausf E.'I stared at him. 'You knocked out a Tiger tank with a fireball?''Actually I knocked out two,' said Nightingale. 'I have to admit that the first one took three shots, one to disable the tracks, one through the driver's eye slot and one down the commander's hatch - brewed up rather nicely.”

“If you ask any police officer what the worst part of the job is, they will always say breaking bad news to relatives, but this is not the truth. The worst part is staying in the room after you've broken the news, so that you're forced to be there when someone's life disintegrates around them. Some people say it doesn't bother them - such people are not to be trusted.”

“I was tempted to tell her it was because we were British and actually had a sense of humour, but I try not to be cruel to foreigners, especially when they're that strung out.”

“Every male in the world thinks he's an excellent driver. Every copper who's ever had to pick an eyeball out of a puddle knows that most of them are kidding themselves.”

“I gave the prescribed Metropolitan Police "first greeting"."Oi!" I said "What do you think you're doing?”

“Could it have been anyone, or was it destiny? When I'm considering this I find it helpful to quote the wisdom of my father, who once told me, "Who knows why the fuck anything happens?”