“You see these unsold goods taking up space in busy stores and ask yourself, 'Who would ever buy such a thing? To whose antiquated and misguided sense of taste would such a thing appeal?' To the dead, I answer! The dead are the eternally out of fashion!...These piles of unsold goods are conclusive proof of the existence of an eternal and insatiable appetite.”

“You would do well to know, Marcus, that irritating a better swordsman than yourself is a good way to end up dead.”

“Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.”

“I was still alive. Ha! Take that kidnappers. Still alive. Maybe it was my butt that was feeding me. I always thought it was kind of round. I bet my body was eating up all the fat stores from my butt now. Yeah. See, having a big ass is a good thing. Good, good, good. They should put that in magazines. Why diet? Why stay thin? If you ever get kidnapped and left for dead, your fat ass could save your life!”

“I knew that I would know more dead people. The bodies pile up. Could there be a space in my memory for each of them, or would I forget a little of Alaska every day for the rest of my life?”

“In order to know that you're dead, you have to be conscious. . . but if you're conscious, then you're not dead. the only thing you can know is being alive, so that's eternity.”