“Oodles of noodles help blue poodles mit der strudel.”

“I will go to my grave in a state of abject endless fascination that we all have the capacity to become emotionally involved with a personality that doesn't exist.”

“Some of us find our lives abridged even before the paperback comes out. ”

“Despite what they tell you, there are simply no moral absolutes in a complex world.”

“Liberal, shmiberal. That should be a new word. Shmiberal: one who is assumed liberal, just because he's a professional whiner in the newspaper. If you'll read the subtext for many of those old strips, you'll find the heart of an old-fashioned Libertarian. And I'd be a Libertarian, if they weren't all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners.”

“And just as it is with all proper grannies, she ordered me into my pink bunny jammies.”

“A very, terribly long time ago, before such things as televisionand good table manners or evenchildren, ferocious monstersroamed a younger, angrier world.”