“Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or creed.”
“I really believe there are some people who hate to contemplate the happiness of others.”
“Be nice. Be good. Be happy. If people everywhere were to keep to this simple creed, there'd be few problems left in the world to fret about.”
“You can fool a lot of the people some of the time, and a few of the people most of the time, but the only person you can fool all of the time is yourself.”
“Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first; nationalism, when hate for people other than your own comes first.”
“As far as I can tell, they never get up before noon unless there's some sort of national emergency, like my leg hair.”