“He'd lost me at "vampire."Nuts. Lucius Vladescu is completely nuts. And I'm alone with him, in an empty barn.So I did what any sane person would do. I jammed the pitchfork in the general direction of his foot and ran like hell for the house, ignoring his yowl of pain.”

“Lucius paused, turning on his heel to face me. "I grow weary of your ignorance." He moved closer to me, leaning down and peering into my eyes. "Because your parents refuse to inform you, I will deliver the news myself,and I shall make this simple for you." He pointed to his chest and announced, as though talking to a child, "I am a vampire." He pointed to my chest. "You are a vampire. And we are to be married, the moment you come of age. This has been decreed since our births." I couldn't even process the "getting married" part, or the thing about "decreed." He'd lost me at "vampire." Nuts. Lucius Vladescu is completely nuts. And I'm alone with him, in an empty barn. So I did what any sane person would do. I jammed the pitchfork in the general direction of his foot and ran like hell for the house, ignoring his yowl of pain. ”

“Princess. . . He honestly thinks I'm a vampire princess. . . . The strange, almost pleasurable, sensation I'd felt when he'd brushed my cheek was forgotten as reality hit me again. Lucius Vladescu was a lunatic.”

“She was thinking, I have a nut in my house. How do I get the nut out of my house?”

“I love nuts. I'm for nuts. I am nuts.”

“Pygmalion made her; then she kicked him in the nuts, ran away, and developed a personality.”