“I don't think it's spiritually economic to be a skeptic about absolutely everything.”

“I don't like repeat offenders; I like dead offenders.”

“You don't need to belong to any particular class or ethnicity to be a nerd, but some ethnic stereotypes are nerdier than others.”

“I didn't invent the middle finger, but I perfected the use of it.”

“Before i launch into a discussion of what a nerd is and where the idea of nerds comes from, I'd like to diclose that when i was eleven, I had a rich fantasy life in which I carried a glowing staff.”

“I hump the wild to take it all in, there is no bag limit on happiness. ”

“Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians--except for the occasional mountain lion steak.”