“What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find? A silver sixpence? ”

“When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here? ”

“When you're involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off. ”

“When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?”

“Why is there always one bloke in these boy bands who looks like he came to fix the boiler and somehow got bullied into joining the group?”

“Never judge yourself by the narrowstandards of others. What we do together here is ourbusiness, nobody else's. Never, never doubt what we havejust done is anything but love. Never let yourself be restrictedby thoughts of what society would have you do, what it wouldaccept or condemn. Please promise me that.”

“I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.”