“I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.”

“Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.”

“YOU are a genius!... and I am a genius because I married you.”

“You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.”

“Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.”

“There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.”

“The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.”