“Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.”

“I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.”

“Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?”

“People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.”

“Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.”

“The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.”

“You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.”